Innocent
by Requiem for the Dream
Summary: Axel was asked a weird question that day...


**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**This was originally posted on my main account, Tainted Lullaby, on September 17th,but I decided to move it here to save it from deletion. Contact me there if you need anything.**

**While I'm working on my other fics, I decided, 'Hey, Demyx is so adorable and innocent, why not screw around with his character a bit?' So... this came about. :D Oh, and I use a weird analogy later on that actually makes sense if you think about it. XD It's about... pencils.**

**Summary: Demyx asked Axel a weird question that day...**

**INNOCENT**

"Axel, you in there?" A resonating knock at Axel's door made him groan and roll over. Taking a knife that was next to his bed, he flung it into his roof, spearing the ceiling. _Eat that, Xemnas. _He grinned. "Hey! You in there?" came the voice again, accompanied by more knocks. Axel quickly rolled over onto his side, zipped up his coat all the way, and groggily walked over to his door.

Opening it, his non-existent heart dropped.

Demyx.

"What do you want, Lar-- Oh, hell. Not you," he groaned. Demyx smiled cheekily at him and waved cheerily, showing off his perfect white teeth and giant green eyes.

"Hi, Axel!" he said happily and waved more enthusiastically.

"Excuse me for a second, will you?" Axel asked. Demyx obliged happily, and Axel turned around. Closing the door halfway, he quickly muttered a few words that would even make Samuel L. Jackson gasp in fright. Dusting himself off, he turned around and opened the door. In a very casual manner, he said, "Hello, _Demyx._" He emphasized on the blonde's name, but it went right over the sitar-player's head.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking down the hall and around himself nervously. Axel shrugged and opened the door to let him in. Demyx walked in the pyro's room and looked around, surveying the ceiling, walls, bed, and even heading for his closet. "What's in ther--" But he didn't finish. Axel quickly grabbed a key and locked his closet door and turned around. "You realize I can just teleport in there, right?" he asked idly.

"Whatever." Axel rolled his eyes. "What do you want?" he growled, wondering how long it would take for him to have Demyx impaled on a spear and how quickly his scream would echo throughout the castle, alerting the ever-prowling Saix who stalked through the halls all day, the sniper, Xigbar, who preferred to spend his days sitting in the rafters and sniping people in the ass, and Zexion, who would probably send you off to some other dimension so he could go back to playing Grand Theft Auto IV.

"I... I have a question," he stuttered, and instantly, his cheeks flushed a shade of light red. Axel sighed and pointed to a soft violet chair in the corner of his room.

"Sit down," he ordered. Axel flopped down on his bed lazily and looked up at the knife in the ceiling -- where it was supposed to be, actually. He looked up just in time to see a bright yellow eye flash by and hear a bright and cheery voice call out:

"Methinks this belongs to you!" came Xigbar's voice as he flung the knife back down at Axel. The pyro quickly caught it with a gloved hand and set it down on his nightstand.

"Now, what did you want?" He made a mental note to fix the crack in his roof.

"Axel, uh, since you're one of the more... sexually active members of the Organization, and since Saix, Xaldin, Vexen, Marluxia, and Larxene all threatened to skewer me if I talked to them again, could you answer this question for me?" Demyx had an innocent look stretched out across his face, and his eyes were as wide as the moon was bright.

"Fire away," Axel said idly, not realizing the irony in his statement.

Sighing, Demyx said, "Axel, where do babies come from?"

Axel flipped off of his bed and sat back up coughing madly. "What!?" he screeched loudly.

"Uh..."

"Seriously, you have no idea?"

"Nope."

"Educate yourself," Axel demanded. The pyro walked away from his bed and started to dig in his closet. He tossed out a few magazines and tapes that had the words 'CHRISTMAS PARTY OF '08' stretched out across it, but as Demyx would have liked to point out, the Organization didn't throw a Christmas party last year, instead, they went out and killed people and plotted world domination and whatever else it is that evil people do. "Ah hah!" he declared loudly and threw a book on his bed.

Demyx scurried over to Axel's bed, held up the book, and turned his head sideways. "What's this?" he asked curiously, scratching his head.

"This, Demyx, is how Myde, Edym, or whatever the hell your other's name was, was born. Observe," he said simply and flipped open to the first page. "Pregnancy is the carrying of one or more offspring, known as a fetus or embryo, inside the uterus of a female human. In a pregnancy, there can be multiple gestations, as in the case of twins or triplets. Human pregnancy--"

"Offspring? Uterus? Gestation? And where the hell did the so-called embryo come from? Did it just magically poof in there?"

"You make my head hurt."

"Advil? It's the every pain reliever!"

"Shut up. If you're going to keep asking questions, why don't you go get Larxene to explain it to you? Hell, get Marluxia; he's fruity enough."

"...I can't."

"Why not?"

"Marluxia is having one 'His Days' again."

"Fine. Shall we carry on?" Demyx nodded. "Good. Basically, when two people love each other very much, they decide to sleep with each other and--"

"Like you and Roxas?"

"THAT WAS A DARE AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"Whatever."

"Anway, when two people love each other very, very much, they decide to-- Okay. Screw this. We'll just pretend that our two people are Larxene and Xemnas."

"That's... scary."

"Okay, so when Xemnas and Larxene love each other very much, they, one day, decided to go to sleep. During the middle of the night, Xemnas decided that his sexual needs of a man needed to be fufilled, so he started groping Larxene. Larxene, infuriated, punched Xemnas in the mouth, but she didn't know that Xemnas liked it when his 'whores' played 'dirty,' so it only made him chase after her even more. Finally, after much arguing, Xemnas and Larxene finally undressed, and Xemnas stuck his... pencil... in Larxene's sharpener."

"Uh..."

"After the pencil was sharpened, they both went to sleep. Larxene made Xemnas's life a living hell for the next nine months by continually being constipated, complaining about fat he got her, and the fact that every morning she threw up last night's dinner, thus making her never actually eat anything. Finally, the baby decided it was time to dump the pencil shavings, so it worked its way out of Larxene's pencil sharpener, and the trashcan -- Vexen -- greeted it. Enraged, Larxene unplugged her pencil sharpener so no more pencils could be sharpened, and she went back home with her... offspring... and got to work with -- Where are you going?" Axel asked as Demyx ran out of the room screaming.

"Larxene! Axel said Xemnas stuck his pencil in your pencil sharpener and that he knocked you up with pencil shavings!" he screamed down the hall.

Axel watched all the lights down the hall flicker on.

**I like analogies. XD**


End file.
